My last post about free public domain children’s books steered me down a wonderful literary journey. There are some fantastic things to read from bygone eras (if only to snicker in superiority at them). The following three excerpts are all from a fantastic book entitled, The Children’s Friend, edited by the good Rev. C. Carus-Wilson (Vicar of Eastry, Kent).

THE GORILLA

“It is about five feet six inches high. Its strength is immense, and its ferocity greater than almost any other animal’s. The natives dread it more than the lion, and are never known to catch it. It lives in the thickest forests, far away from the abodes of men. But if a man does happen to come in its neighbourhood, it hides up in the thick branches of a tree, and without being seen, lowers its powerful hind paw, gripes hold of the man’s neck and strangles him. It is not for the purpose of prey, but out of mere cruelty, for it does not feed on the dead body.”

I particularly enjoy the horrifying description of the silent singular hind paw. The gorilla doesn’t even need to use two hands to strangle you to death out of “mere cruelty”!

THE CHINESE

“China, though one of the largest countries in the world, has been so closely shut up from travelers, that we know very little about it. Nevertheless, what we do know is very curious and interesting.

The people are said to have some very good points in their character. They are very industrious and contented, very peaceable, and very good subjects. They are taught to look upon the Emperor as they look upon their own father; and the respect which they pay to their parents is such as would shame many English children, who ought to know better. One good point about them is that they are very reasonable; and, instead of fighting when they differ (as is too often the case with us), they will quietly talk over the matter of dispute, and settle it in good humour.

But they are not without their bad points, and the chief one is their deceit and insincerity. They do not care what lies they tell, nor how they deceive you, if it is for their own interest.”

Perhaps those darn Chinamen wouldn’t need to quietly talk of all those matters of dispute if they weren’t so deceitful and insincere.

A TIGER IN THE SEA

“Some fishermen of a village called “Hejamandy,” put out to sea long before daylight one morning. When they were some hundred yards from land, they espied something like a huge fish a short distance from them. They naturally rowed up to it and one of them made a blow at it with his harpoon. On this the animal rushed at the boat, laid hold of the nearest man with his paws, and in dragging him overboard upset the boat.

It was then that the men found out that it was a tiger, and of course swam to the shore for their lives. The poor man who was in the clutches of the beast vainly struggled for some time, and then sank under the waves a corpse. The beast next got on the boat, which was floating bottom upwards, and took formal possession of it.

In the meantime, the men who had got to the shore raised a hue and cry, and, collecting some more hands, put off in two or three boats to give the beast battle. Not having any firearms with them, this was a work of some danger; but one fellow, more dexterous than the others, at length struck his harpoon into the neck of the animal, and killed him.”

By far my favorite, this story has EVERYTHING!  First, there is the wonderful phrase, “sunk under the waves a corpse.” Talk about drama! Next, the beast (when was the last time YOU used the word beast?) “took formal possession” of the boat.

I imagine the scene to have played out this way:

“Well ,we can’t have that, can we boys? A beast taking formal possession of our boat? Unthinkable!”
“Lets give it battle!”
“Hullo, what’s all this hue and cry about?”
“A beast has made a corpse of Harrison and has now taken formal possession of our boat.”
“Have you thought to give it battle?”
“Indeed we have and we’re preparing to do just that.”
“Very good, may I join your party? I brought my own harpoon…”
“Of course. Tally ho!”

[the men strike out in “two or three boats”]

“Ha Ha! Jamison, your dexterity with that harpoon is sub-par, you’re more likely to hit poor dead Harrison than the striped beast!”

[the men snicker at Jamison's lack of dexterity]

“There, I have struck the beast in the neck, fatally.”
“Good show.”

……