It’s an age old battle played out in countless playgrounds across America: which will reign supreme, Dinosaurs or Princesses?
For the most part, the boys reside in the Dino camp and the girls are firmly in the Princess faction. The Feminist viewpoint is that boys and girls are CONDITIONED to these prejudices, but we’ll ignore the societal implications of the ongoing battle, and get down to the winner so that all this bloodshed may end.
Full Disclosure: I am male.
COMBAT FACTORS:
The T-Rex has 6 inch long teeth and a pronounced height advantage.
Princesses have castles and armies to protect them (some even have ninja swords).
The Stegosaurus has armor plating and a spiky tail.
Princesses may have magic.
Winner: Draw. The dinosaurs can effectively lay siege to the princesses’ castle, but cannot penetrate it. In a lengthy war, a wayward princess may occasionally be captured… (as this diagram clearly shows, Dinos are highly similar to Dragons)
and a few dinos may become enslaved by magic… reminding us all that there are no winners in endless war.
QUALITY OF LIFE:
Princesses are rich and wear pretty dresses.
Dinosaurs rule!
Princesses eat ice cream and cake for every meal.
Dinosaurs eat MEAT!
Princesses get to marry a charming Prince.
Dinosaurs roam the Earth alone.
Princesses live in big, fancy castles.
Dinosaurs are FREE!
Winner: Princesses. Princesses lead charmed lives except when they are kidnapped. Dinosaurs on the other hand, have to fight and eat each other. No small task when your dinner looks like this…
AWESOMENESS:
Dinosaurs are freaking awesome.
Princesses are nice.
Winner: Dinosaurs. Don’t dare try to argue.
OVERALL SCORE: Dinosaurs 2, Princesses 2. Sadly, it looks as if MJM Books is unable to bring this horrible conflict to an end. How many more generations must endure this madness?!!!
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Tags: Dinosaurs, Princesses
Dinosaurs would totally win every day of the week and twice on Sundays!
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